I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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