And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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