the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
