Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
