Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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