You really coming over, don't trick.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
