I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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