i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
