i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
