NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
