As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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