i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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