I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
