I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
