I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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