Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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