The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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