No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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