He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
