Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
