i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
