wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
