Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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