Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
