Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
