Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
