Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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