This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
