So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
