Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
