I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
