Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
