Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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