wrigley field is MILF paradise
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
