i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
