Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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