I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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