dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
