Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
