??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
