Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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