I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
worst night to have a conscience
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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