I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm really busy with my period
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