White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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