Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
