I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
