Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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