so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
