He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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