she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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