At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
