Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
