he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
